A Message from Tuvalu: Year 2272
This is a note from my friend William York. He, like the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), is able to travel to the future and he has sent me this fascinating message:
Tuvalu 10pm New Year’s Eve, 30 December 2272
I have just been listening to The Voice of Tuvalu, one of the most-listened-to Internet Radio Stations (IRS) of this extremely popular set of tourist islands. The IRS reported that the Tuvalu Museum Department of Sea Level Records has been given a contemporary copy of the Scripptures, one of the most sort-after documents of the early part of the twenty first century.
These documents are supposed to be the basis for a mysterious group called the IPCC. Little is known of their role and actions as they were evidently wiped out in 2020 and all their records destroyed by the governments who had evidently originally sponsored them.
It is thought that they may have acted like an environmental Taliban, another mysterious group operating at about the same time although there is no evidence that they acted in concert.
The Scripptures came into the hands of the donor by inheritance. It is thought that they were found around 2100 when a scavenging group broke through the ice into the dead letter office of the Santa Barbara Central Postal Facility and found a set of undelivered parcels. These contained both the Scripptures and a number of documents with the letters IPCC stamped on them. This discovery has been likened to that of the Dead Sea Scrolls which so entranced scholars at the end of the twentieth century.
The Scripptures were a popular folk doctrine in the twenty first century and a little of it was read on the Internet from the First Book of Keeling, “Genesis of an Idea”
“And low the great Keeling came down from his volcano and went to meet his people gathered on the beach at La Jolla and he said to them ‘The breath of Man is bad, it is as the breath of ten thousand dragons. The oceans will boil and the seas will rise unless we stop driving to the shopping malls, put away our Hummers and stop using natural gas and gasoline that are adding gigatonnes of CO2 to the atmosphere each year.
“And his people put aside their surf boards and hang gliders and to the cries of ‘right on’ and ‘cool it man’ they set about writing scientific papers and ensuring a sustainable future for their institute.”
I am looking forward to seeing the documents on the Google Archive after they have been authenticated by the authorities.
Incidentally I don’t know if you noticed the date. About 150 years ago it was decided at a world wide time keeping conference that one day should be removed from the calendar every one hundred years. This is to correct for the slowing down of the earth’s rotation due to the extraordinary use of tidal power for electricity generation in the early twenty first century. The tides were so interrupted by removing energy from the earth moon gravity interaction that frictional losses from the interaction of the oceans with the rotating surface of the earth reduced its spin velocity. This of course was all abandoned towards the end of the twenty first century what with the ice and as the use of fusion power generation slowly extended around the globe.
I have put this message in a timewarp bottle which I am told should find its way back to you. Anyway I must go down to the beach now. It is quite a descent through some extraordinary coral canyons,